I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I would write about for my birthday blogpost. I did “20 Reflections on 20 Years of Living” when I left my adolescent years behind me and started the brave journey on the road of adulthood. I wanted to come up with something really catchy and memorable but twenty-three does not lend itself to catch phrases.
Eventually I started thinking about a song by Coldplay that I cannot stop listening to called “Every Teardrop is a Waterfall.” My favorite section is as follows:
I turn the music up, I got my records on
From underneath the rubble sing a rebel song
Don’t want to see another generation drop
I’d rather be a comma than a full stop
Maybe I’m in the black, maybe I’m on my knees
Maybe I’m in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart
I love the imagery of being “in the gap between the two trapezes.” It captures the idea of being suspended between two secure things and not knowing what you are going to grasp onto next. I have felt that way a lot this past year with many parts of my life in flux.
But I think I am starting to accept all of it and be okay with it. I have realized that a lot of life is being suspended between what is secure and what is the exact opposite of secure and learning to be okay with it.
There are some things in life that are absolutely certain. For me those things are God, friendship, family, and love. For the most part, there is a lot of uncertainty in life. We do not know what work will be like today. We do not know what job we will have next year. We do not know when we are going to get married or have kids. We do not know if we are going to live for many more years or if we will die tomorrow.
But I do know that my friends and family love me. I know that I am where I am supposed to be even though it is not necessarily where I want to be. I know that I am a writer, a musician, a massive geek, and a passionate liver of life.
And I know that today, I am grateful for twenty-three years of an amazing life and I am hopeful about the next twenty-three years.