I stepped outside of the hotel room, instinctively grabbing for the pack of cigarettes in my back pocket. The sounds of throbbing music and women screaming at strippers briefly followed me out. A soft, gentle rain came down as the sun set in the distance. My phone was in my other hand and before I knew it, I had dialed Greg’s number. 

A few hours before Cassie and I had talked during a quiet moment. 

“You remember when we first met?” I asked.

She laughed. “God, I was terrified that day. I couldn’t look anyone in the eye.”

“You were terrified? I thought Beyer High was going to eat me alive. Modesto is enormous compared to middle-of-nowhere Montana.”

“Can’t have been worse than coming from the exciting plains of North Dakota.”

“And then we started talking. Just two shy country girls—”

“Hoping to find a fish with the same stripes,” we said at the same time.

Suddenly we burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter and sipped our cocktails. 

“And Greg!” Cassie said. “He was sitting in the corner of the cafeteria looking like an abandoned puppy.”

I tried to smile. I remembered that encounter differently. The moment I looked at him I got butterflies in my stomach. He was adorable: curly brown hair, shining hazel eyes, and the cutest lopsided grin. 

Fast forward three years, and we were planning our futures together. “It’ll be great!” Cassie said. “We’ll go to Stanislaus State, take some of the same classes first year. Ariadne, we can share an apartment. You’ve always talked about liking Turlock better than Modesto. Greg can keep his internship with the financial company to pay for tuition.”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’ll be great!”

And back then I meant it.

But six months before we graduated, the three of us, became the two of them plus Ariadne. It was gradual at first. One night while scrolling through Instagram, I saw it: there they were, at our favorite diner, drinking a milkshake from the same glass, posing in that obnoxiously cute way couples look in Instagram photos—perfectly lit and adorably posed without looking like they tried to hard. 

The annoying thing was they didn’t cut me out. It would have been easier to hate them if they started being exclusive but they weren’t and I never felt like a third wheel. Cassie and I still had girls’ night and the three of us still watched black-and-white films and made fun of reality TV. But every time I saw them walk into a room holding hands or watched Greg lean over to kiss Cassie on the forehead, my chest ached and for a split second all I wanted to do was run across the room and scratch Cassie’s eyes out. 

That’s when I decided I couldn’t stay.

“I’m going with Johns Hopkins,” I said one day at the diner.

“What? Ariadne, we had a plan! We’re supposed to live together and help each other through freshman year!”

“Yeah,” Greg added. “Who will I call when Cassie’s freaking out about girl stuff?”

Cassie rolled her eyes at him. “I need you, bestie.”

“You can call or text any time. I’ll only be a few time zones away. It’s just…I got accepted into their biomedical engineering program and I can’t pass up the opportunity.”

“I don’t understand,” said Cassie. “You’re a homebody and you don’t like change. Why apply to Johns Hopkins?”

“The quality of their program is unmatched. I wanted to challenge myself. Honestly, I didn’t even expect to get in…but when I got that letter in the mail…The program believes in me, ya know? That feels really good.”

“What about a support network?” Greg asked. “Do you know anyone who lives out there?”

“I’ve got some distant relatives who have been very kind and generous even though I barely know them. I mean I’m not saying I’m not scared or nervous. I just…”

Cassie looked at me with a half smile, eyes welling up with tears. “You really want this don’t you?”

“I do.”

She gently wiped mascara from underneath her eyes. “Right. Well, you’ll do great. But promise we’ll FaceTime at least twice a month! And if there’s a crisis you better answer!”

“I promise.”

#

I pulled out a cigarette, lighting it as the phone kept ringing. I tried so hard to hang up. I could hear some shoulder devil whispering this single act could create disaster. But I couldn’t do it, and Greg picked up.

“Hey! Shouldn’t you be passed out from doing body shots off some hot stripper?”

“Haha. You know I don’t do shots. I’m just outside for some air. Plus, I needed a smoke.”

“You know you’ve never really been a smoker but the past six months you’ve been smoking nearly a pack a day.”

“Yeah…I…I guess I’m just stressed…” my voice trailed off.

The day Cassie and Greg got engaged, I had called Cassie to vent about some asshole. I immediately started talking but saw she was with Greg. She held up her left hand showing off a sparkling diamond ring. Greg held her close and their faces were smooshed together. 

“We’re getting married!” Cassie squealed.

For a second, I froze. 

“Wow!” I finally forced out of my mouth. “Oh my god! So exciting! Congratulations!”

“You’ll be my maid of honor, won’t you?”

“Of course. Of course I will,” I said smiling as widely as I could.

When I finally hung up the phone, I walked over to my bed, fell face first into a pile of pillows, and cried my eyes out for an hour.

“Ariadne!”

“Sorry. Listen, there’s uh…something I wanted to talk to you about…in person,” I said.

“Right now?”

“It’s important.”

“Um, okay. We can meet at the Fox Pub—”

“I was kind of hoping to meet somewhere private. Your apartment okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess,” he said.

“I’ll see you in a bit.”

I peeked my head into the hotel room to tell Cassie I was feeling sick. “Too much to drink.”

“You’re such a lightweight!” she yelled over the music.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

She leaned close, planting a kiss on my cheek. “Love you, Ari.”

#

I burned through three smokes on the way over. I didn’t know what I would say. I just knew I had to say something. My fingers drummed the steering wheel as I parked and looked up at the window I was so familiar with. We spent most of our free time here or at the apartment Cassie and I shared. I knew it as well as I knew the house I’d grown up in—the rattling heater, the toilet that required turning on the tap a little before flushing, all the places the floorboards squeaked. 

I didn’t remember walking up the stairs or knocking. I just remember seeing his face.

“You gonna come in?” he said. He was holding a half-empty bottle of beer.

“Right. Yeah.” I shuffled through the doorway shoulders hunched, hands shoved into the pockets of my dress. “Thanks for letting me come over.”  

“It sounded important. You want a beer? Or have you exceeded your one drink limit for the night?”

“Haha. Yeah, I’ll take a beer. That your first?”

“Second…no…third.”

I sank into his dilapidated couch and wrung my hands. Greg handed me the beer. I took a generous swig then started picking at the label. 

“So, what’s up?” he asked as casually as if he was asking where we should go for dinner.

“Umm…” I started out, “I just…uh. There’s something I have to tell you. And if I don’t tell you now, it’ll be too late and ah…” I took another swig from the bottle and began pacing. “I…” I hesitated looking him straight in his beautiful hazel eyes. Just say it! “I’m in love with you. I have been since the moment I met you in that dingy cafeteria. I love the way you pull your hands through your hair when you’re nervous. I love the way your eyes light up like a little kid when a new Star Wars trailer comes out. I love that you’re funny and compassionate and the kindest person I know. I—”

“Ariadne…”

“And I couldn’t stay at that bachelorette party and drink and dance and smile and hug Cassie when the whole time all I could think was you should be marrying me.”

Greg stood up and moved closer to me. I couldn’t bring myself to look in his eyes. I was shaking and chewing my lower lip. I was terrified, terrified that if I looked into those deep wells I would see rejection or worse pity. 

We were close now, closer than we’d ever been. His face was inches from mine, our lips so close I thought I could feel them touch. As he looked at me, I forgot to breathe. Finally, he leaned in and kissed me, gently at first but soon it was passionate, needy, as if years of feeling and desire were pouring out. 

We pulled back for a moment. Greg tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. Then he smiled, kissed me again and any doubts I had vanished.

#

I smiled as the morning sun streamed in through Greg’s window. I reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. His eyes fluttered open.

“Hi,” I said quietly.

He smiled, whispering, “Hi.”

It felt like a perfect moment. But those don’t last. They’re a fragment of a whole, a shadow formed by the casting of the light.

Greg’s brow furrowed and he pulled back, abruptly jumping out of bed. “Shit! Shit!” He grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head but mistook the sleeve for the neck. “What the hell did I do?”

My body stiffened. “Look, I know this is unexpected—”

“No! However you’re going to justify this it’s wrong! I slept with my fiancé’s best friend and you slept with your best friend’s fiancé! What are we going to do?”

I turned away sharply. After I snatched up my clothes and dressed hastily, I held my jacket in crossed arms. “I…I don’t know. I thought…I thought this meant something. I thought you loved me!”

“I don’t! No, I do, just not like that. I…shit.” He pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Cassie.”

I reached him in seconds grabbing the phone from him. “You can’t! She’ll never forgive me…or you for that matter!”

“I have to tell her. We’ve always been honest with each other. It’s one of the things that makes us work so well.”

“If you tell her, our lives are ruined. Nothing will ever be the same again.”

“You already saw to that.”

“Excuse me?”

“You threw yourself at me!”

“So this is all my fault. You wouldn’t have kissed me unless you were having some kind of doubts about the wedding and your relationship with Cassie.”

Greg shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “No, no I love Cassie. I’m going to marry her.”

Suddenly, I was enraged and confused all at once. Did I mean that little to him? How could I have done this? How could I have let Greg do this? I was never going to be able to look Cassie in the eye again and even if I somehow buried the memory of this night into a deep dark hole. I felt my stomach drop.

“Oh yeah. That’ll work,” I said my voice rising. “‘Hi Cassie. I slept with your best friend. Don’t worry though I love you and definitely want to marry you.’ ‘Greg, I’m so glad you’re being honest with me, so glad in fact that I forgive you unconditionally. We should definitely go through with the wedding and I totally want Ariadne at my side.’ That’s how you think this is gonna play? Cassie is forgiving and kind but what matters most to her is loyalty. This will kill her.”

Greg sank down onto the bed as his posture slumped.

#

The morning of the wedding was a blur. I smiled for pictures, laughed with the other bridesmaids while sipping champagne, took Instagram worthy selfies and pictures of Cassie looking radiant, and perfectly performed maid of honor duties. I held her close when she pulled me into a tight hug, whispering how much our friendship meant to her. I felt bad because I didn’t feel bad. It was as if that night had been locked behind some kind of vault in my head.

But as I prepared to walk down the aisle, my palms began to sweat, my heart raced, and my knee bounced involuntarily. What would I do when I saw him? What would he do when he saw me? Would I be able to hide what we’d done?  

I forced a smile as the church doors opened. Everything slowed as I raised my head and looked toward Greg who stood in his precisely pressed tuxedo, hair perfectly combed, maroon tie in a perfect Windsor. I tried to force my gaze away from him but my eyes fixed on him as the rest of the room disappeared. 

But he wasn’t looking at me. The wedding party was small. Cassie hadn’t wanted the procession to be drawn out and soon Cassie and her father at the doorway. I didn’t see her walk down the aisle. My gaze kept turning to Greg, quick darts of my eyes to see his reaction, if anything on his face would betray our sin.

I saw nothing. Just the smile of a man who was completely in love with the woman walking toward him.

I didn’t feel myself in the room or remember any of the ceremony until Greg said his vows.

“I, Greg Stuarts, take you, Cassie Risedalle, to be my wedded wife. I promise to bring all of who I am—the good and the bad—to this marriage. I promise to be true and honest even if it means pain and hard times for a season.”

The rest of the ceremony passed in a haze. I found myself clapping and cheering as Cassie and Greg walked up the aisle.

At the reception, after I’d given my speech, I stepped out of the barn and pulled out a box of cigarettes. It was raining lightly just like the night of the bachelorette party. I lit up and watched the smoke coalesce around me. I sighed as I put the smoke out under the toe of shoe, sprayed myself with perfume, and took a deep breath. 

I fixed a smile on my face, walked back in, and took my seat next to Cassie. I caught Greg’s eye for the briefest moment. Something like pain registered in his eyes before he turned back to Cassie and leaned in to kiss her.

(This story was my entry for the NYC Midnight’s Annual Short Story Challenge. Writer’s are assigned genre, location, and character and must produce an original, 2,500 word short story in eight days. I received an honorable mention.)